How to Win a Nobel Prize?
Filed under: General
I’ve been trying to find a purpose in the world lately, or at least one that garners quick recognition and ego stroking. Winning a Gold medal seemed plausible, until I thought about the intense level of exercise associated with that feat. It’s not that I’m lazy; I just care about my joints! Oh, and the minor fact that I gave up on competitive sports around the age of 16 and could be beaten by a child in most fields.
Then it occurred to me, I’m going to win the Nobel Prize! If Al Gore can sweet talk his way into taking credit for the internet and the discovery of global warming, then there must be something I can do? On my daily hour commute from 680 to 24 to 580 to 80 to Endsight in Berkeley, I noticed a billboard for the DaVinci exhibit at the San Jose Technological Museum (http://www.thetech.org/leonardo/) . This got me thinking about thinking.
Leonardo DaVinci has to be one of the sweetest people ever (and not cause he happens to also be the name of my favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle), but because how much came out of that noggin. I saw the Mona Lisa at the Louvre in Paris, read the DaVinci Code and rode on the DaVinci bandwagon for the past few years. He definitely would have won the Nobel Prize. Maybe I should invent a time machine, go back in time, give him a Nobel Prize and in the process win one for myself- two birds with one stone! (Probably should clear up that whole Priory of Scion, blood line controversy while I’m at it).
This may all seem too optimistic and slightly offensive to the people who have worked their butts off to achieve this prestigious award. But the story goes that in the late 19th century, US congress wanted to close the patent office because all that needed to be invented was invented! Point being, that people and society will never exhaust all resources and innovation needed for invention.
Just because I’m not Harvard trained, don’t work in a lab, or have the political PR machine that Al Gore has access to, doesn’t mean I can’t change the world. Homer Simpson had this same idea in a classic Simposn’s episode trying to “out invent” Thomas Edison. But it was his accidental invention of a six legged chair, stemmed from his laziness, which eventually led him to the feeling of success. So maybe the world will appreciate my desire for efficiency more than some deep athletic ability. My friends and I have come up with some pretty clever ideas while sitting in my apartment pondering the world. If only I had written those ideas down and acted on them…
And if this Nobel Prize thing doesn’t pan out, there is always an Oscar.
-Lauren DaVinci