How to Win a Nobel Prize?

I’ve been trying to find a purpose in the world lately, or at least one that garners quick recognition and ego stroking. Winning a Gold medal seemed plausible, until I thought about the intense level of exercise associated with that feat. It’s not that I’m lazy; I just care about my joints! Oh, and the minor fact that I gave up on competitive sports around the age of 16 and could be beaten by a child in most fields.

Then it occurred to me, I’m going to win the Nobel Prize! If Al Gore can sweet talk his way into taking credit for the internet and the discovery of global warming, then there must be something I can do? On my daily hour commute from 680 to 24 to 580 to 80 to Endsight in Berkeley, I noticed a billboard for the DaVinci exhibit at the San Jose Technological Museum (http://www.thetech.org/leonardo/) . This got me thinking about thinking.

Leonardo DaVinci has to be one of the sweetest people ever (and not cause he happens to also be the name of my favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle), but because how much came out of that noggin. I saw the Mona Lisa at the Louvre in Paris, read the DaVinci Code and rode on the DaVinci bandwagon for the past few years.  He definitely would have won the Nobel Prize. Maybe I should invent a time machine, go back in time, give him a Nobel Prize and in the process win one for myself- two birds with one stone! (Probably should clear up that whole Priory of Scion, blood line controversy while I’m at it).

This may all seem too optimistic and slightly offensive to the people who have worked their butts off to achieve this prestigious award. But the story goes that in the late 19^th century, US congress wanted to close the patent office because all that needed to be invented was invented! Point being, that people and society will never exhaust all resources and innovation needed for invention. 

Just because I’m not Harvard trained, don’t work in a lab, or have the political PR machine that Al Gore has access to, doesn’t mean I can’t change the world. Homer Simpson had this same idea in a classic Simposn’s episode trying to “out invent” Thomas Edison. But it was his accidental invention of a six legged chair, stemmed from his laziness, which eventually led him to the feeling of success.  So maybe the world will appreciate my desire for efficiency more than some deep athletic ability. My friends and I have come up with some pretty clever ideas while sitting in my apartment pondering the world. If only I had written those ideas down and acted on them…

And if this Nobel Prize thing doesn’t pan out, there is always an Oscar.   

-Lauren DaVinci

Not Your Grandmothers Radio

Last week I reported to all you IT management avid bloggers out there about my recent traumatic accident. Well, it was more tragic for my Jeep and my left wrist than for me. Since last week I have purchased an awesome 2008 Jetta from Dublin Volkswagen (thanks Ryan). It’s so cute and nice inside, and I will be the first to admit that it’s a chick car, but pretty much the sweetest chick car out there.  Besides its engine stuff, great gas mileage (25/gallon) sleek interior, it comes with something I never even knew I wanted- Satellite Radio!

Since its inception several years ago I have been interested in this form of media. Television and radio have always been favorites of mine due to their constant nature and background noise.  It’s just a matter of transitioning to a format that I’m not used to that never pushed me into this new realm. I’m happy to see this venture becoming successful, I feared we would lose it due to people like me- nerds who want it but are too lazy to do anything. Sirius and XM have recently joined to become one satellite powerhouse.  It took a year of litigation to approve of this merger due to anti-trust laws and fear from old school radio networks. Although I’m pro mom and pop operations and against Walmart-esque monsters taking advantage of capitalist America, I feel that there is enough room and desire for Siri-ex (not sure how they have combined names, I like my idea).

My Jeep Grand Cherokee (Rest in Peace 1994-2008) had been sans radio for the last year, not to mention the persistent check engine light, humming at fast speeds, clicking noise which I could not locate and random shutting off of all music for no apparent reason. Poor girl needed to go the way of “old Yeller”, but I never had it in me, so instead I rear ended a Dodge Van in 580 morning commute! That being said, it’s not surprising that when I drove my 2008 Jetta for the first time and heard the awesomeness of satellite radio, that I no longer minded the hour long commute from Danville to Berkeley. I never realized that I would enjoy non -stop progressive techno at 8am, or Led Zeppelin blared at full volume, but I do.  Whomever decided that people enjoy listening to DJ’s talk about why Britney Spears is crazy, what happened on Dancing with the Stars the night before or any other topic on the repetitive laundry list of morning DJ programming, obviously doesn’t commute every day.  Just give me music. So if any of you hundreds of thousands of Bayareaitmanagement.com blog readers out there are on the fence about satellite radio, ditch your grandmothers radio and move into the future, your sanity will thank you!

More on Sirius and XM Merger:

http://articles.latimes.com/2008/mar/25/business/fi-xm25

Bay Area Traffic owes me a Hover Craft

After my 1^st week into the real world and becoming an adult, I had the rudest wake-up call as to what my new found “adult” responsibilities entail. Recently graduating from Chico State in May, I’ve been very fortunate to begin a career at Endsight as a Business Development Associate (fancy way of saying inside sales).

To end my first non-stop week, I was involved in an accident at the 24/ 580 interchange Friday morning. First time I’ve seen the airbags go off in a car. They whipped my hand and I thought that the irony of the world was also catching up seeing that August 1 was the first day of my new health insurance!

It was the classic Bay Area stop and go commute, where the lanes move so fast you get worried. And good reason so… cause this is usually the end result somewhere down the line.  It was inevitable that in my corporate career, and all the hours spent on freeways, that this was to happen. But on the morning of my first Friday? Come on world… I get it, I’m growing up, but let’s take it one thing at a time.

If you saw a green jeep grand Cherokee on the shoulder with a “Chico State” sticker on the back, I apologize for further inconveniencing your commute. I feel like everyone needs a turn at being “that guy”, the one who slows down traffic and when you come to the clog you think “why the heck is everybody stopping to look at this car?”, when in fact that very thought has caused you a minor deceleration. Traffic is a weird phenomenon.

A special breed of scientist actually devote their life to the area. You will never find me on that list, but IT Management also employs traffic management and analysis. If I could have it my way, we could drive hover crafts.  This weekend while icing my hand (which resembles a blown up latex glove), I watched Back to the Future II and III. They have predicted that by 2015 we will have hover crafts (crossing my fingers for a Deloreon).  Not even sure if this would solve the problem, just make traffic worse. Although, if Christopher Llyod’s character could just give me a hover craft and no one else, I’ll be fine with the idea!

Back to why I became rudely welcomed into the adult world. The poor Jeep, after 14 years of loyal service has finally passed away. Poor girl still had my Monte Vista High School senior lot decal on it, stain where I dripped sun tan lotion on the dash going to a soccer game (sorry Daddy, that’s where that came from), and countless scars of high school shenanigans.  Well good bye Jeep. Onto the new generation of my life- 2008 VW Jetta. Sold my soul to my father to finance it…